Happy Agent Co. — Real Estate Podcast for Women hosted by Lindsay Dreyer, Real Estate Coach

You're Forgettable (And 5 Other Real Estate Referral Killers)

• Lindsay Dreyer • Season 1 • Episode 20

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If your clients liked you but still aren’t referring you, this episode is a must-listen. I’m diving into six of the most common (and often uncomfortable) reasons agents struggle to get steady referral business—none of which have to do with pop-bys or cute client gifts.

We’re going deep on the real reasons people don’t talk about you after the transaction ends—and what you can do to fix it, fast. Expect some truth bombs, a little tough love, and a lot of practical advice you can put into action immediately.

In this episode, we’ll cover:

  • Why being forgettable is costing you money (and how to stand out)
  • How to deliver an experience that people want to rave about
  • What inconsistency is really signaling to your clients
  • The invisible work you're doing—and how to get credit for it
  • Why ghosting your past clients is the fastest way to kill referrals
  • How to teach people to refer you (without being awkward or cheesy)

🎧 Tune in now and learn how to become irresistibly referable.

📝 Want to go deeper? Check out the Irresistibly Referable course!

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Speaker 1:

Hello friends, today's episode is going to feel perhaps a little uncomfortable, but also maybe a little freeing and a little empowering, but it is going to be full of things you can actually do something about. What are we talking about? We are talking about the six reasons, the real reasons that you are not getting more referral-based business. And little hint, it is not just about Popeyes. If you are not getting constant referrals, even though your service is solid, this is for you. We are talking about the real reasons why people are not referring you, and these might be a little brutal, hard truth, but they're kind of my favorite thing to give you. So let's go and dive in.

Speaker 1:

Number one is that you are forgettable. You do not stand out In the sea of millions and millions of real estate agents. Why would somebody choose you over another real estate agent? This is so crucial. Differentiation is key Now. Differentiation can be personal, it can also be professional. It can be the demographic you serve. The type of home that you specialize in could be the service you provide. I know for me, when I was knee deep in the heyday of real estate as an agent solo agent I was crazy responsive, and it was because I was able to be. I also was super, super knowledgeable about the market and I serviced the millennial first time home buyer demographic. So that was my differentiator and it really helped me stand out from the sea of real estate agents that were practicing in my market.

Speaker 1:

So I want you to ask yourself would your client remember you and your name a year from now? Or would they scroll past it in the inbox, those spam emails you're sending every month? Do they unsubscribe, do they market as spam? Because that's really bad. But do they know? Like a year later, a friend says I need a real estate agent. Are you going to be the one that they search for? And if you are not, it means that you are forgettable and you need to do a better job of differentiating yourself and standing out from the crowd. People do not refer agents that blend in. They refer the agents that are memorable. They refer the ones that have left their mark. Number two, on why you are not getting referrals Was your experience worth talking about?

Speaker 1:

This is so hard because, of course, like you, can have the transaction go smoothly. Everything goes well. But did you wow them, did you surprise them? Did you make them feel genuinely taken care of? If your experience was average or just run of the mill and the story ends at yeah, that was fine, that is a not memorable experience. That is not memorable. Sorry, if it was just, you know, everything was all right. Not memorable.

Speaker 1:

When you deliver an elevated experience or you surprise and delight your clients, that is where people start telling their friends you want to deliver an experience that is worth talking about. That means personalized, it means really listening for those ways that you can go above and beyond for your client. One of my favorite examples is a client from years ago and he moved into his condo. He was a first-time homebuyer and I remember he calls me the day after closing and the faucet in the kitchen is leaking and I was like no worries, I'm going to get a plumber over there right away and got a plumber to come over. I think the bill was like $175, but that was going above and beyond, especially after I got my commission. Like I still showed up with the same level of service even after the sale. I received so many referrals from that person because their experience was worth talking about. He knew that I took such good care of him during his home buying experience that I would do the same thing for his referrals. That is the type of thing you need to be listening for throughout the transaction. You need to look for those moments to surprise and delight your clients, because those are the things that they will remember and it will make it worth telling their friends and their family and their colleagues about you.

Speaker 1:

Oh, number three can be a really hard truth bomb for a lot of people, which is you are inconsistent, oof. This can show up in a number of ways, but usually it is that you are not doing what you say you are going to do. So are you flaky on replying to emails or texts or phone calls? Do your clients have to ask for an update? Do you appear inconsistent in terms of your email address that you use or your style of dress or the service that you provide? If you don't have a process that you put every single client through buyer process, seller process, rental process that is inconsistent. They want systems, they want reliability. So it is about not only being consistent, but it's about being reliable, and if you are not consistent or reliable, that equals untrustworthy, and I can't emphasize this enough.

Speaker 1:

You will not get referral business if you are not trustworthy when somebody refers business to you, they are putting their reputation on the line. We refer people because we want to look good, because we want to be helpful. So if you are not trustworthy and this is usually the secret one is, for example, you show up late and that's consistently showing up late, that is a problem. And your client? You're secretly telling your clients that you are not reliable and that you are not trustworthy. So make sure you do what you say you are going to and make sure you are showing up to things. When you say you are going to show up, you are proactively communicating, you are following a system, you have a checklist, you have a process. You have to be someone that people can rely on and if you are not someone that seems reliable, you are in your client's minds untrustworthy. You are in your client's minds untrustworthy and you will not be getting referrals because of it.

Speaker 1:

Number four is kind of a hard one. But they feel like you did not earn your commission. Now you might have a client who walked away thinking, huh, what exactly did I pay for? And because of that they are not sending you referrals. So how can you fix this? The first is in your buyer consults and your listing consults. You are actually explaining what your job is, what you are doing in exchange for the commission that you are receiving. Did you over-communicate? Are you guiding people? Are you leading people? Is there actual leadership throughout your real estate experience with your clients? Are you being proactive? Are you making clear when you get a win for your client?

Speaker 1:

I think so often we're moving so fast and fast-paced through the transaction that we aren't stopping at those milestone moments to say, wow, we just negotiated a brand new roof on your home inspection. That is incredible. Congratulations. The seller really didn't want to give it to us, but we made it happen. Those moments, that is where you are earning your commission. That is where your expertise and your negotiation skills are really coming through and you are really earning that commission. So if someone is getting to the finish line, the closing table, and they see that number on the settlement statement, you really need to know with confidence that you earned that number.

Speaker 1:

So, whatever it is that you feel like you need to be doing better to show your value. I know we say that a lot, but it's really about getting credit for all of the work that you are doing behind the scenes, because it's not just about the outcome from all of that work behind the scenes. It's really all of the things you're doing behind the scenes. It's really all of the things you're doing behind the scenes. So start getting credit for that stuff. One of my favorite things to do is to just BCC my clients on negotiations or something that is me going to bat for them. Behind the scenes Could be also screenshots of text messages. It could be a summary of a phone conversation. But start getting credit for the things that you're doing, because so much of the work that real estate agents do is invisible. We need to make the invisible visible to our clients, because that truly is where we are earning our keep. That is where we are earning those commissions and that's the thing we have to show our clients over and over and over and over again, because you are a professional and you are worth getting paid for all of that hard work you are doing to not only find a home or get the home ready for sale, but also get that property to the closing table, because a lot of times it is not smooth sailing.

Speaker 1:

It is not always easy. Reason number five you are not getting referrals is that you ghosted them. You did not stay in touch. And it's not just about staying in touch, putting them in your drip campaigns or on your mailing list. It is about staying in touch in a meaningful and memorable way. You need to really care about people and these relationships.

Speaker 1:

Social media is a wonderful tool, but I think a lot of times real estate agents are relying on it as a crutch and we are just push, push, pushing content out, and really the magic of social media is in the engagement and the information that you get. So we get updates about people's big life events, engagements, marriages, babies, job losses and new jobs. We get that information, and so my favorite thing to tell coaching clients is to take the online, offline, that information that we get online. Take it offline, take it to a small present. Maybe it's a card you mailed them, maybe it's a call, maybe it's a text, but you are taking that information and you are showing people that you care about them. Well, after the transaction has closed.

Speaker 1:

Too many real estate agents ghost their clients after closing, and that is totally unacceptable. The added bonus of all of this is that if you keep that relationship and you maintain that relationship, they're not only going to want to have you in their lives, but they're going to want to bring you into their friends' and their family's lives, their colleagues' lives, and it really is about having an agent who cares about you. That is so much of building a referral-based business is that it is not just a transaction, it is a relationship. You have their best interests at heart, you care about them and you want to help them beyond the closing of their property. And the last and final reason on why people are not referring you you haven't taught people how to refer you. We all just assume that they know that you work by referral or that you want referrals, but you don't have to do it the cheesy way of I'm never too busy for your referrals, but you need to plant the seeds and that goes throughout the entire process. It can be at your first meeting with them, which is I'm so happy that John referred you to me.

Speaker 1:

I love working with my referral clients. They tend to be my most favorite clients, so just talking about how you work by referral throughout the entire client journey can be a really helpful way to just plant in their mind that you want referrals and that referrals are important to you. Also, that you'll take good care of people. So by taking good care of them, they know you will take care of anyone who comes their way. The other thing is you could let them know how you actually send a referral so you could say if you know anybody who needs my help, the easiest way to connect them with me is to send an email and connecting us or send a text connecting us or whatever your process is. So having some process and then mentioning it throughout your client journey could be when you first meet them. It could be while you're house hunting.

Speaker 1:

It doesn't have to be weird. I want it to be authentic to you. It's not begging for business, but it's hey. If you ever run into anybody who might need my help, the best way to get me in touch with them is to send an email to both of us, just making an intro. That is the best way to do it and it does not have to be weird or sleazy or creepy. I promise If you are not reminding or letting your clients know that you work by referral, they are not going to send referrals your way.

Speaker 1:

Most likely the last thing it's not really a point, but not every client's going to refer you and that's okay. There are some clients I did a bang up job for and they never sent anybody my way. That is okay. There are just people who don't do referrals, and that's all right. It's not my fault, but those people that do send you business consistently, you probably did a really good job of avoiding these six downfalls really good job of avoiding these six downfalls.

Speaker 1:

So take a look at your process and really take a hard look at what your experience looks like, that you provide and how you're doing in terms of standing out in the market and really evaluate yourself on these six steps, because every agent has room to improve. We are not 100%, we are not perfect, and it's that self-reflection that if you just are 5% better, 10% better, that is going to increase your chance of referral business exponentially, because you're already providing such an incredible level of service that just moving the needle a little bit is going to give you more business. And who doesn't need an extra three to four deals per year? That makes a huge difference in your life and your business. So this is worth taking a look at because the return on your investment, the time and energy you spend on really evaluating your business for referability is 100% worth it in the long run.

Speaker 1:

So, to wrap it up, this is not about being perfect. This is about being intentional, and I am all about intentional effort in your business. We do not spin our wheels. We do what we know works, and referral business is often the lowest hanging fruit that so many agents miss out on because they are not laser focused on it. So I want you to get laser focused on referrals.

Speaker 1:

So, if you're ready to be the agent that people can't stop talking about, I have my online course, irresistibly Referrable. You can check out in the show notes, but it runs you through the art and the science of being referrable. It also includes so many great bonuses. There's a bonus workbook on how to build a top of mind plan for your database and also your VIP refers, and it will run you through how to improve your process, how to improve your referrals and really just start operating from intention on making your business a referral machine, which is so important if you're going to have a sustainable real estate career. I hope this was helpful and it wasn't too tough love. I could have got a lot meaner. Actually, you're lucky I didn't Please share this episode with an agent who might need to hear it and until next time, stay happy.

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Lindsay Dreyer

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