Negotiation Is Back: What to Say, What to Do, and What to Stop Panicking About

The market has shifted, and so has your job. If you’ve been leaning on waived contingencies, lightning-fast offers, or minimal back-and-forth, it’s time to dust off those negotiation skills—because negotiation is officially back.

In this episode, I’m breaking down 5 smart, real-world strategies to help real estate agents negotiate with confidence (and without the drama). Whether you’re feeling rusty or you’ve never had to negotiate an inspection request, I’ve got you covered.

We’ll dive into:

• How to actually start negotiations (hint: it’s not the contract)
• What questions to ask your clients before writing an offer
• How to gather insider intel like a real estate spy 🕵️‍♀️
• The most overlooked levers agents forget to pull
• How to hold your ground like a pro—not a bulldozer
• Why your ability to stay calm might be your #1 advantage in this market

Negotiation isn’t about being aggressive—it’s about being effective. And in today’s slower, pickier market, your ability to negotiate strategically is what will protect your clients, win the deal, and build trust that leads to referrals.

If you’ve been feeling a little unsure about how to navigate counters, repairs, or awkward agent emails (🙃), this one’s for you.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Introduction
• 1:49 Start With the End in Mind
• 3:56 Gather Intel Like a Spy
• 5:45 Know Which Levers to Pull
• 7:35 Hold Your Ground Without Being a Jerk
• 9:19 Detach From the Drama
• 15:38 Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:34

Hello friends, thank you for tuning in. I am Lindsay Dreyer. For those of you who don't know me, I am a real estate coach as well as a brokerage owner and mom of three littles. It is peak summer, so it's a little crazy right now. If you are a return listener, welcome back. If you have not left a review, I would be so, so, so appreciative if you would do so, and I love hearing from you on Instagram, so shoot me a DM if you have an episode idea or just want to say hi, lindsaydryer or happyagentco.

Speaker 1: 1:15

All right, with the intro out of the way, we are going to dive into negotiation, which is like huh, who's been doing that? I don't know who needs to hear this, but we are no longer in 2021, where there's a million offers and you have 24 hours and you're waiving all your contingency and it's like good luck, buyers. We have the return of sanity. In some cases, I know in the markets I operate in, we are absolutely seeing negotiations. Homes are sitting a little bit longer, buyers are a little bit more picky, taking a little bit more time, and listing agents are finally picking up their phones again. So you know what that means. Negotiation is back on the table baby, which I am actually really excited about. But here's actually the real deal. A lot of agents are scrambling because they have never had to negotiate or they haven't negotiated in years. So some of you are a little rusty and some of you have actually never even seen a repair request addendum and that is blowing my mind. So today I'm walking you through five practical, hopefully powerful ways to stop panicking and negotiate deals like the pro that I hope you are. It is so important to be a good negotiator, because not only can you protect your client's best interests, land the deal, but you can also just stop feeling like you're flying blind every time a counter offer or inspection request hits your inbox.

Speaker 1: 2:51

So let's cut to the chase and start with tip one, which is start with the end in mind. Your negotiation strategy should never start with the contract. It always starts with a conversation with your clients. So before you even get to price or terms, I want you to ask your client what does a win look like for you? Because a lot of times I am seeing agents just come up with what a a win look like for you. Because a lot of times I am seeing agents just come up with what a win would look like when they don't even have this conversation with their clients. So that is a powerful question that you can ask what does a win look like for you? Because if you don't really know what your client wants or what they really care about, you're absolutely negotiating in the dark, and we do not want to do that.

Speaker 1: 3:41

I remember I had a client who cared way, way, way, way, way more about the closing date than the actual sales price of the property. Her daughter was starting school in a new district and she wanted to move so fast. She was like Lindsay. We got to make this happen in like the next month or two and we ended up winning with a below asking offer because we also were able to give the seller the timeline with a rent back that they wanted. There was like no money wasted, it was just strategy. It was like a win-win. And the win for my client was she wanted to get a home by a certain closing date and we had enough time to give a seller a rent back and it just ended up working out. And we had enough time to give a seller a rent back and it just ended up working out.

Speaker 1: 4:27

So, knowing and clarifying those must-haves versus nice-to-haves. Those are a great thing to do with your buyer clients and seller clients honestly, like knowing, like what are their deal breakers, what are they flexible on? Another thing you can ask is if we could only win one thing here with this offer, what would it be and that really can help you get clear? Another thing you can ask is if we could only win one thing here with this offer, what would it be and that really can help you get clear on what their one thing is? Maybe it's monthly payment, maybe it's price, maybe it's having a thorough home inspection. You just don't know until you ask that question. And once you have that information, it is so key to let their goals, their win, guide the deal and the negotiation process. This is not about you and your ego. This is about your clients' must-haves, nice-to-haves and what is a win for them.

Speaker 1: 5:17

Negotiation tip number two and honestly, this really speaks to the Scorpio in me. Did you guys know Scorpios are the detective of the Zodiac? I encourage you to gather intel like you are a spy. I am all about this. I am scouring the public records, I am Googling. I am really getting all the information because I want to know what is going on. I'm going through those disclosures, I am talking to the agent on the other side Because you're not just submitting offers, you are building a strategy, and strategy starts with intel, good information. So before you negotiate, before you talk to the agent on the other side, ask questions. I want you to read between the lines, and this is where our detective hat comes in handy. Are they under a time crunch? Is the house vacant? Are they maybe hoping for a rent back so they don't end up in an Airbnb? Every single little detail that you can find out can be leverage and I want you to use it.

Speaker 1: 6:20

I had a buyer client once where we found out during just a casual conversation with the agent that the sellers had already moved cross-country and were paying double mortgages. So let this actually just be a lesson Loose lips sink ships man. So the less information you can give to the other side is probably the better, or just be strategic about what you're sharing. But what this particular instance told me was that they didn't like paying double mortgages and that was a pain point of the seller. So that gave me information representing my buyer that told me that time was more important to these sellers than top dollar. The pain of them paying that double mortgage was really painful. So we got in fast, we offered them a quick close and we ended up getting the house because we asked the right questions and it was great it ended up working out.

Speaker 1: 7:20

So gathering that intelligence is super crucial. So how do you do it? I again mentioned, like my strategy of checking the public records, just like digging in figuring out what's going on with the property. I also like to ask the listing agent about any information before writing. So maybe the question of what's important to your sellers besides price, or look for signs in the listing language like motivated seller or bring all offers. This is also where relationships matter. So being a human being, being kind, like being relatable and being nice, like that absolutely helps. Like I know, when I have a good relationship with the agent on the other side, like we're just making things happen and they're more apt to share information. That's helpful, that can help you negotiate when it comes to getting your client the best contract that they can get.

Speaker 1: 8:18

All right negotiation tip number three and this one, I think can be a little bit hard to explain to clients but know which levers to pull and when, because negotiation is not just about price, it is about the whole package. We know this, right, I have a multiple offer sheet that basically lays out all of the different aspects of an offer and how to make them competitive. So we're thinking beyond just price, obviously. We're thinking inspections. So we're thinking beyond just price. Obviously we're thinking inspections, inspection timelines, appraisals, appraisal gaps, post-settlement occupancy, rent backs, home warranties, seller credits, repairs, financing, cash offer. Like there's so many things that we can pull in terms of levers, and I mean now buyer-ag agent compensation, right, like we have a lot of different things that go into an offer. So sometimes your client doesn't necessarily need to pay more, they may just need to offer smarter. One of my favorite levers to pull is a pre-offer inspection, if the seller will allow it. So having the inspection done before you write the offer to just make sure that you are like not backing out on that. Another is obviously appraisal gap is another one of my favorite, if your client can swing it.

Speaker 1: 9:34

So getting creative on how to strengthen your offer, which isn't always about price, it's about terms. So knowing the difference between price power and terms power, Also flexibility can go a long way. So if you have flexibility in certain things, like closing, rent back, timeframes on things. Just expressing that you are flexible can sometimes be something that looks really favorable to the other side and whenever you are in doubt, just write it as clean as you can, as simple as you can and as win-win to both sides as you can. We're not going to win everything and I know we were talking about negotiation and that's not always competitive but it is so important to just be simple and clean and good to work with.

Speaker 1: 10:30

Tip number four oh boy, this is a good one which is you need to hold your ground without being an a-hole or a jerk, whatever you want to say. But I do not believe that you have to be pushy or dramatic to be good at negotiation. This idea, I think, got even worse with reality TV and this like fake drama negotiations that happen of like I'm on the phone and I'm negotiating. First of all, I don't do verbal negotiations, people. It's got to be in writing. But holding your ground does not mean that you have to like steamroll the other side. It really just means that you know where the line is and you're holding it firm and if you're clear on what your client needs or what their want is or what their win is, you can advocate for that with confidence. So, knowing that information is so important to what if the other agent's pushing you? You know then that maybe it's not time to panic and we're just going to pivot and do something that's going to work in your client's best interest.

Speaker 1: 11:33

I do not understand people who get defensive. When people hold their ground. It's like that's the best and final. We don't have to be drama about it. It's just, it's calm, it's direct, it's un best and final. We don't have to be drama about it. It's just, it's calm, it's direct, it's unapologetic.

Speaker 1: 11:46

You can also use phrases like here's what would work well for my client or I understand your position. Here is my clients. I never use me or I in the situation when I'm negotiating with the other side. It is always my client or the buyer my client or the buyer or the seller, like your client. We are intermediaries here. We are the negotiation points, but it is not me personally. I'm not personally negotiating this deal, so I'm leaving my opinion out of it, and I know that this goes without saying. But do not agree to anything without your client's go ahead, which is why I do not like verbal negotiations, because I have had situations where it's all verbal and then it all blows up. So just keep in mind that you need to hold your ground without being a jerk. And also, I mean this is like a bonus tip, but like get it in writing, okay. Tip number five detach from the drama. I know that negotiating deals can sometimes feel like a roller coaster Like I get it.

Speaker 1: 12:54

You get lowball offers, which is like the worst thing on the face of the planet. You get really weird counter offers that make no sense. You get a home inspection request where they literally ask for everything on the report Okay, not cool. And then you also get that one agent who thinks that every email comes with a side of condescension. And here is your job. You just do not take the bait. You need to stay calm, stay professional, respond with solutions. Don't be snarky. You are the calm, steady one in the room.

Speaker 1: 13:30

I will be honest, I became so much better at this when I became a parent. I am so much better at just regulating my emotions and being like yep, that is what it is. Because kids, they're like little dysregulation machines is what it is. Because kids, they're like little dysregulation machines Like they will knock you off your game and so now, like good luck, knocking me off my game. It is really really hard.

Speaker 1: 13:51

I once had an agent who literally told me fuck off in an email and I'm sorry for the language, but yeah, like it was like we're negotiating. It was like a little contentious, like the seller definitely didn't want to accept what the buyer wanted to. We could not meet in the middle and he literally just said fuck off, period. That is crazy. That is the example of do not respond emotionally. Like that was just so nuts, I will never forget it. So detach from the drama. Like just don't engage and if someone's trying to engage, you just don't. I don't think you should ever respond emotionally. Respond with facts, respond intentionally. I love sticking to the facts. Like you can't argue with facts and solutions, not feelings, like I don't ever want to hear. I feel in an email or a negotiation, it does not matter. We're sticking to facts and solutions and we also need to know what your client's walkaway point is, because you have to be willing to walk away at some point and you also need to be in terms of like not having drama. Like let your client know that it's okay if the deal doesn't work out Like not all deals work out. So I hope that this was helpful.

Speaker 1: 15:05

If you've been feeling rusty in the negotiation department, it is not worth stressing. This is a skill that you can relearn, you can refine. I think we are back to practicing it, which is great, and you can totally own it. We are in a new phase of the market where your ability to advocate for your client, think creatively, hold deals together I mean, really we're becoming like that's becoming very crucial. It's like how can we get this deal to the closing table and then staying calm under pressure, like all of these things are going to set you apart and build a loyal client base that is going to refer you. Remember, negotiation is not about being aggressive, it's about being effective and honestly, I really think that that's a skill that never goes out of style and it looks good on everyone. So if this episode hit home, I would love it if you would share it with an agent friend who's also trying to brush up on their negotiation skills. And until next time, stay happy.