Happy Agent Co. - Real Estate Agent Podcast for Women - Hosted by Lindsay Dreyer, Real Estate Coach

Life Happens, Business Evolves with Ali McPherson — Resilience, Joy & Building a Career Her Way

Lindsay Dreyer

Today’s episode is one of those conversations that stays with you. I’m talking with Ali McPherson—an agent based in Newport News, VA—who built a thriving real estate career through some of the hardest seasons of her life. From leaving a burned-out career in the wedding industry to navigating years of fertility challenges while building her business, to suddenly facing profound loss and grief—all while still showing up and doing the work. Through it all, Ali has created a business rooted in joy, community, and authenticity.

What We Cover:

  • Ali’s transition from the wedding industry into real estate
  • How she sold 18 homes in her first full year—and what that hustle looked like
  • Navigating fertility challenges (IUIs, IVF, miscarriages) while growing a business
  • How she built her sphere through real-life community and authentic connection
  • The sudden loss of her mom in 2024 and how grief reshaped her life and business
  • Her new passion for estate guidance, legacy planning, and supporting families after loss
  • Making business fun: using joy, community, and relationships as marketing
  • Practical sphere marketing ideas from birthday parties to mailers to events
  • Allowing your business to evolve with your life and honoring the season you're in
  • How to stay resilient and keep going when everything feels heavy

If you’ve ever wondered how to keep going, how to pivot when life shifts, or how to build a business that fits the season you’re in, this episode is for you. Ali’s story proves that you don’t need to follow someone else’s blueprint to succeed. You can build a business that evolves with you, supports you, and reflects exactly who you are. This is a real, human, heartfelt conversation that will stay with you long after you listen.

Get Lindsay's Build Your AI Assistant Course: https://happyagent.co/chatgpt-for-real-estate

Find Ali Online:
Website: https://alimcphomes.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alimcphomes/

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SPEAKER_03:

Today's episode is one of those conversations that really stays with you. I'm talking with Allie McPherson, an agent in Newport News, Virginia, who's built a thriving real estate career through some of the hardest seasons of her life. We're covering everything from leaving an event planning career completely burned out to navigating years of fertility challenges while trying to grow a business to experiencing the sudden loss of a parent and what it really looks like to keep showing up when life feels impossible. Through it all, Allie has built a business rooted in joy, community, and truly just being herself. So if you've ever wondered how to keep going, how to evolve, or how to build a business that fits the season that you're in, this episode is for you. Let's get into it. Hey, Allie. Lindsay. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to be here. So I would like for all of our audience members to hear the intro of how you got into real estate because everyone has their how I got into real estate story.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. So I was previously in the wedding industry. I graduated from college in 2010. And then I was in the wedding industry from there until I got licensed in 2016. I was like an every one and a half year to two-year job hopper because whenever I learned everything I needed to know, I was like, okay, I'm good here. See ya never. Or see you at the weddings, but I'm going to a different thing. And so I worked for a caterer, two different venues, an event rental company. And I just hit the point where I was like, I don't give a crap what you choose for your flowers. Just make a decision. Hell. And I was like, maybe I'm not providing the customer service I would be proud of. And I was just burnt out. And I was tired of, I was tired of working Saturdays until 2 a.m. every morning. Physically, it's a lot of work to work weddings. And I just was over it. And so I was like, what can I do that is a similar vibe of like walking people through a big life stage where maybe they're not spending money on linens or flowers that go bad in a day or whatever. Like, what's a better thing for people to spend money on? My husband was like, Well, when we were buying a house, you were thinking like that they were very similar, like the the wedding industry and real estate. And so he was like, Why don't you just go do the licensing and see what happens? And I was like, Great, sounds amazing. So I did that, and then I was licensed, and then I was like full forged ahead. Like I just like got licensed, hung my license, sold 17 houses or 18 houses my first year. And I was like, this is perfect. Like I'm a natural. Real estate is easy. And then, you know, the industry teaches you real quickly that it's not actually that easy. My first sale was six months after I started, but then it was like six months to a year was just insanity. And I was just like holding on for dear life. So there wasn't time for strategy or business planning or anything during that time. It was just like drink out of a fire hose and figure it out. And during that time, my husband and I were going through some fertility struggles. That's part of the reason why I got into real estate was because my$28,000 a year wedding job wasn't going to pay for IVF. And so that was kind of like my path of like, I'm gonna sell a lot of houses so that I can pay to have this child.

SPEAKER_02:

You had the child.

SPEAKER_01:

I did.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh great! Have a happy ending.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. After, you know, it's a struggle. And like a lot of people think in the infertility, or once somebody enters the infertility world, like it's just they do the medical treatment and then they're pregnant and they have a baby. And like we had a baby after six rounds of IUI, which is the preuterine insemination. And the first six rounds of that, we did two rounds of IVF and we did four embryo transfers before we had our son. So, you know, and like miscarriages along the way, seven years of medical treatment, you know.

SPEAKER_03:

Um and were you doing that while building your real estate business?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

All right. How do you juggle something that is so emotionally taxing and physically draining, I have to say. Like I'm sure it's emotionally, physically, like just it's like you desperately want a baby. And meanwhile, you're also having to take care of clients and building your business and prospecting, like put your big girl pants on and show up every day. Cause I can imagine that would be so difficult.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and I think for me, what I did was a lot of compartmentalizing. Like I would do really long stretches of breaks because like at some point, your brain and body can't handle like disappointment anymore. And yeah, so I did long breaks, you know, therapy is amazing. Everyone should be in therapy. And yeah, a lot of what led to my business success was I was connecting with people in real life about the hard stuff that was happening in my so I was pretty open with our fertility journey. Of course, the internet doesn't know everything about our situation, but like I was pretty open about like, hey, we're doing this, you know, we're going through this. I really leaned into a local support group that is through the National Infertility Association at a support group. And I wasn't marketing myself at all, but people were getting to know me. And then as we built our relationships, they were like, Oh, you're a realtor. They said, Wow, you're a realtor, and I need to buy or sell a house or whatever. And so, like, I built these really beautiful friendships from the grief and the trauma that is the infertility world. I would say probably 25 to 30 percent of my business for a while. And I have stopped going to that for that group in person because like COVID, a lot of stuff happened with it. And I miss those people and I need to reconnect with them. Like I was going through my database, like, oh gosh, I need to connect with them again because and not for business, just like to check in. And I don't know, it was like a really beautiful testament to being truly who you are in the real life, crappy things like can lead to really beautiful things in business too.

SPEAKER_03:

So many people ask me, like, how do you get business from your sphere? And I think the story that you just told us is I think the most simple way that you do it is by you just show up to a group of people that you have similarities with that you can really be yourself with, that you can be open, you can be honest, you can be vulnerable. And people want to help you. They want to work with you, they like they just want to support you. And so it's about showing up in these containers where you don't have to fake it, you don't have to market yourself. You really just show up as yourself and people just appreciate who you are and what you bring to the table. And I think it's like so beautiful because that's such a vulnerable situation. And you wouldn't think that's a way to build your sphere as a real estate agent. But I think it just gets to the core of like that's how you do sphere marketing. It's not really marketing, it's just building authentic relationships.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Well, and at that point in my real estate career, I didn't get that at all. Like I didn't understand that it could be that simple to just live your life, connect with the people with you, be present. I was definitely at that point not integrating it in authentic ways. I was kind of I had my blazer on. And my, you know, like, you know, how we all put on kind of like a mask at the beginning of our careers to be like, I'm a realtor now, and like I got my BMW and my iPad or whatever it may be. Oh my gosh, I feel attacked. Come on, Allie. I mean, it's true though, like I think that is something like people think you need to be a certain thing in order to be a successful agent. And right, what you need to truly be is like know your stuff. So people, so you know what to do with people once they come to you. But uh the most important thing is just like be present and be who you are, and uh that stuff will come organically in a lot of ways. Um and then also if you need to add in some reconnection with people, that can be strategic, right?

SPEAKER_03:

Then I think we all kind of wish we could go back and like do some things differently because I do think it like that sphere piece. It's like once it clicks, you're like, oh, this is how this works. Like that makes so much sense. But I think for New York agents getting into the business hasn't clicked yet and they don't understand that like it really is just showing up as yourself on a consistent basis, like in a group of people. Um, so I know anytime someone drops that they've sold like a significant amount of houses in their first year, they're like, How did you do it? So I have to ask you for our listeners, because I know it's going through their brain, which is how did you sell 17 to 18 houses? Your first year, aka like months six through 12.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. It was a combination of things. And really, I don't know if it was the first calendar year after I was licensed. That was the year that I sold the 18 houses. Still pretty great. Yeah, it was in the first 18 months, like I made a good living, right? And like I doubled what uh what I made. And that was at like the crappy rookie split that I had, you know. How did I do it? Mostly it was that I practice real estate where I grew up. And so my sphere and the parents of all of my friends were here. That I I kind of attest, like that's good luck of like living where I grew up. Um there were some agent referrals in there. I was the person that showed up all the time to all the trainings to make connections with the other agents in my office to be like, what do you need? Can I be here for you? Can I do an open house for you? And at that point, you know, I didn't have my son. And so I was just like to the races. I did like two open houses a weekend sometimes. I just was like hustling at a point that wasn't sustainable, right? But for your rookie year, but yeah, mostly pure luck. That like it was no, it was not luck. You sold like I mean, I did. And like I work at a company that has a very strong in-person training program that does a really good job getting success out of brand new agents. I put my feet in a place where I knew that I could get some roots going. And I think that's really important because sometimes people are like, I'm gonna get my real estate license. And then they're kind of like, maybe they hang their license at a brokerage that doesn't have a physical location. And I would have been back in the wedding industry in three months. The people is what keeps me going. Yeah. Being in an office keeps me going. So I can't be at a place that does not have a physical office. Like that's not for me.

SPEAKER_03:

So it sounds like your business, like you went from hustling, like kind of figuring out like what works for you. You kind of had a sphere that already you could tap into because you grew up in the area. So, would you say that your business was mostly built on sphere marketing? Yeah. Okay. Can you give us some tactical things that you do to tap into your sphere? Like, do you have like consistent things you do? Do you have like one-off things you do? Like, what do you feel like are your most effective sphere marketing tactics?

SPEAKER_01:

Right now, for me in my business, it's showing up in person to all the things. Like, if I'm invited, I make a way to make it happen. Like I am on a really intense birthday party circuit right now. That like every weekend people are like, How many birthday parties do you go to? And I'm like, three kid birthdays. Yeah, kid birthdays, like every single kid birthday we're invited to, I go. We go. I just think it's important. And that is how I'm building my sphere, right? Because like when I was in the infertilities space, I would see other agents who would like get leads from their like t-ball practice. And I would be like, oh, if only I had a kid, I could get the t ball leads, you know? And so now I'm like, I'm getting those T-ball leads. Like I accidentally coached my son's soccer team this fall because Oh, did I find an assistant coach? Like, I'm a Venmo mom to the max. Like, I'm like, what can I do to support from afar? So, you know, I'm just like leaning into the season of life that I'm in as much as possible. But in terms of like marketing stuff, I follow the ninja selling system pretty closely. You know, it's not sparkly enough sometimes. But I try to fit in fun ways to make the ninja selling system my own. I do a client and VIP event every year. I do a lot of like fun mailers of just like, here's a coupon to this local place that just opened or whatever. I do kind of fun interactions via mail, but then I do the whole like, here's a market evaluation. I'm trying to be everywhere at all times. Like I do social media, I do all the things.

SPEAKER_03:

That's great. For those of you who are listening, Ninja Selling is amazing. I love Ninja. I've been to three installations and the leadership summit. So I am a big believer in it. I like it because it's flexible, but really it's just a system that you can run for client experience and then staying in flow with your database. I think what you've done a really good job of is staying in flow with people in a way that's authentic to me, saying yes to those events that's getting you in face-to-face flow, which is great. You have your really fun mailers, which is obviously mailbox flow, or what they call their auto flow, which is running on a consistent basis. So it sounds like you've like found a way to really make your sphere marketing fun and also authentic. So, is that like, would you say that's a priority? And that's kind of what like fit fills your tank is like making sure that it's fun and really true to you.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you do Enneagram stuff? Yes. Okay. So I'm an Enneagram seven. And so as we're like, we're talking about trauma and all the things, even through traumatic things, I have to make it fun or like a benefit to other people. Otherwise, I will not do it. I do not get excited. If I don't get excited, it's not happening. If somebody tells me to make 10 calls, I'm like, no thanks.

SPEAKER_03:

I would keep the same, I'd rather stab my eyes out with a pen. Like if it involves calling, I don't even like returning phone calls for like things I have to do, like contractor estimates and stuff. But if it's an event, oh, I'll go. I'll go to an event. Those are fun.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So I'm just like every single thing, and this is something that one of my coaches taught me is if there's something that I'm avoiding doing or that I know I need to do or I should do, like if I'm saying should, how do I make it 50% more fun? How do I make it 10% more fun? How do I make it something that I'll be remotely excited to do? And I started using the chat GPT thing. Oh, your custom?

SPEAKER_02:

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

And so I have a custom GPT that's like my fun assistant. How do I make this task more fun?

SPEAKER_03:

I'm obsessed with this idea.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, well, thank you for the plug. You should take my course, custom GPTs for real estate.

SPEAKER_01:

Let me be a testament to Lindsay's course on the custom GPT because I was not a believer before your talk at genuine hustle. And I was like, whatever, chat GPT just like spits out boring stuff. It like doesn't feel like me, blah, blah, blah. And then I did your prompt. I did the whole questionnaire that's in there. And I, my girl is Sunny. She's a girl. Yes, my marketing assistant. Her name is Sunny. And she spits out the best stuff. And I'm like, okay, I love you. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03:

Isn't it amazing? Like you, Sunny is hooking you up with fun.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and I was a, I was kind of like, oh, AI, all the, you know, not really into it. And then when you were like, you just have to make this one work for you, I was like, okay, I'm gonna try.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm so proud of you.

SPEAKER_01:

The paying for it part, I was like, oh, it's so expensive. And then you were like, whatever it is,$20 a month or something. It's cheaper than an assistant.

SPEAKER_03:

Way cheaper. I was actually talking to my husband this morning about it, and I was like, on because there's like some rumblings about open AI going out of business. I'm like, honestly, I would pay probably like$500 a month for my for my custom GPTs. Like they are the ultimate assistants.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's what got me in. So now I have like I have, I think I have six. I have a family meal planner one because that's me too. Yeah. Earl. I've got Earl, my estate marketing one. He's heartfelt and caring.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh my gosh. All right. So actually, I want to dive into thanks for bringing up Earl because I think this is like a nice, a nice pivot. So you have shifted recently into like estate planning and legacy conversations with clients. So I would love to hear more about that because you know you're fun and you're into joy. So tell me about this pivot, like what brought it about. And then I'm like curious how you're like bringing that joyful marketing energy to this demographic or this, I like to call them people pillars.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So this is like another place in which my life trauma has informed the path that I'm leading people through. Right. And so my mom passed away in April of 2024. She was on vacation in the Bahamas, had a ruptured brain aneurysm while she was snorkeling, and passed away suddenly. Like I got a phone. Oh my gosh. Hey, this is the charter captain of the boat that your mom is on. And I was like, Yeah. And I thought it was a scam. So then I called my sister and I was like, hey, I got this call from this boat. And she was like, Yeah, mom's on that boat. And I was like, okay. So then I called them back. Like I was in total shock, you know. And so anyway, that led us through the whole process of like we knew she had a will, but we didn't know where it was. She told me it was in a safety deposit box or a fireproof box in her office, was not in her office. I was searching high and low because we needed to like get to the Bahamas to like talk to the State Department and the embassy and the whatever. Like we had to do a whole bunch of logistics to get her home. And but we needed all the things. Like we needed the will, we needed a copy of her passport. Like what? I'm only 37. Like I shouldn't have to be doing this right now. So baby. Right. Um, we found the will. It was in like the very last folder that we opened in her office. Of course.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Like I was like, seriously, mom, you're so organized. Where the hell is this?

SPEAKER_01:

You know, then we learned that I was the executor of the estate. And I'm the young daughter, and the one that's not good at paperwork, even though I'm a realtor, my sister is much far better at that stuff. Really intense passion for me to like make sure everybody has estate plans in place. And if if the horrible thing happens, which like unfortunately all of us are gonna die, but like what happens, who's in charge, where's the paperwork? What are the passwords? How do we get into your phone? Like all of these things. Like my husband and my sister and I became literally private detectives to like get to the bottom of so many things that not that my mom didn't do a good job with any of that. It was just the fact that she died early, right? And suddenly. There's there's there's the two different sectors, right? The people who like have their plans, you know, and they die at 99 years old. Like that's one thing, and then people dying suddenly is another. And I'm just now yelling from the rooftops, like everyone needs to act like tomorrow they are. Yeah, yeah, because it's the thing that people just say, like, I'll get to it, I'm gonna get to it. And like, had my mom said that, we would be in a hell of a lot more of a mess than we already are. But you know, like it's a whole process. And like, if you can make success just a smidge easier, like a 10% easier, 50% easier for your loved ones who are still alive after you pass, like that now is my that's my work now, is to I have an agent on my team.

SPEAKER_03:

Her dad passed without any paperwork, nothing. She's still dealing with it. So not only was she going through the grief of losing her best friend, her dad is her best friend in the entire world, but she's now having to be a private detective and find all of the money, find like everything. Like she has to piece together his entire life and then deal with the legalities of how do you wrap up his estate? Because he had assets. And so I think that that also is kind of like a misconception of people is that I don't have a lot of money, so I don't need an estate plan, but you really do. And like if you own a home, you should probably have an estate plan. It also is your durable power of attorney. Like what happens if you go into a coma? Like, who's able to make decisions for you on your behalf? It is so important and it does impact so many people. And you I know for a fact, none of us want to pass away and be more of a burden to our loved ones in death than we are as we are alive. Like, I I like putting my kids in a position where they're gonna have to deal with anything is like that's a nightmare for me because they're gonna have to deal with the loss of their parent. And so, yeah, I like it uh it's such a worthy cause, and I'm glad you're dealing with it.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you. Like I'm trying to there's no marketing to like that world, but like the business of death and like the paperwork and the whatever, it's so complicated. And and in a lot of cases, I just got so frustrated because there were a lot of companies whose policies made it harder for me to do anything, but like not everybody has a sibling, and not everybody has a sibling who's willing to listen to it, right? And so I have created a package where basically like I can walk with people through the early stages of like we have a death certificate, what the hell do we do now? Um, certainly I can list the property later on down the road, but like I'm trying to be there for even people that I'm not like licensed to do anything in their state. I'm not an attorney, but I can be there to be like, hey, probably the next step is to call an attorney or an accountant or, you know, the city in which their loved one lived to kind of get the cart going in the right direction.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. How are you marketing that right now?

SPEAKER_01:

Right now, it's just I'm starting kind of small, just doing stuff on my personal page. One day I'm gonna be building out a website that is good. What I don't want it to become is a corporation that has a bunch of employees that does this. I want to do three, four clients in this space a year. Um, because I also don't have the capacity to be 911 for people whose loved ones pass. Because a lot of people die, you know, in the world. I sure do. Yeah. So like part of me is thinking like, okay, I might one day create its own, you know, account for on Instagram or whatever, to just be general information where people can get started. But yeah, I'm not really sure what it's gonna be yet. Right now, it's like I'm building it locally so that I can help people with the estate clean out and the all of that stuff. I'm working on a bunch of like freebies where it's a clean out guide. Like what room do we start on first? Different strategies for how to work through a house to start cleaning it out and distributing things to the people that in that person's life, right? So I don't know. Right now it's still like a baby. And that's great. We're gonna see. I'm passionate about like being somebody that somebody can call in the event the inevitable happens, right? And they don't know what to do next. Like I'm okay just being that first phone call where I can be like, hey, do you want to do this thing? If not, here's so here's a library of things you can get that you can go through it on your own, you know?

SPEAKER_03:

What I love about this is that it, yes, it's new. You're evolving. And so I think that that's really one of the most magical things about a real estate career is that you can evolve it into whatever you want it to be. And you don't have to be perfect. You can try something, do experiments, see if you enjoy the kind of work. And then you're not necessarily committed to doing that for the rest of your life or the rest of your career. So I think it's really cool that you're like, you're trying a pivot, like you're seeing if it's something you want to do, if it's something you enjoy. And I think that that's just a testament to this career's incredibly flexible. It's, I mean, you're going on almost 10 years, and so like you've been able to like ride not only personal stuff, but you're also riding your professional wave as well. Like you said yourself, like you're a t-ball mom now, like you're getting those t-ball leads. And so, like at the beginning, you weren't. Yeah. And so it's great that like you can get that stuff now.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Um, well, and I think the thing that is longstanding in my career and my life is I like being there for people through hardship. Can I cuss on here? I cut. Okay. Like, I like being with people through hard stuff. And like, I think I have a superpower that some other agents don't have in terms of I've now been through this, and like I'm the inaugural friend whose parent died, who didn't have another living parent that they were married to. Like, my dad is alive, but my parents divorced. And so, like, it was my responsibility then to finish all of this out. And so, like, I get to be the first, and like now I can be somebody's big sister through the process because like I was lucky enough to have my sister.

SPEAKER_03:

That's so nice. Our industry has this tendency to make things so much more complicated than they need to be. And you've just been able to show up for people, and that has built your business. No matter what stage your life you're in, you're just showing up in the stage that you're in, and it's helping. You build this authentic business, your pillar is joy and having fun and just being there for people, which really fills your cup. I just think you're such a good example to agents that you don't necessarily have to be flashy putting your face on billboards or being Phil Dumfy with his bus benches. Like you can really just show up as yourself, and that's enough. Like that's a really powerful message. And I hope everyone hears that today because I think that as we reach the end of the year, people are going to start bragging about like their production numbers and what their year was. But if you're having fun and you're doing it out of joy and what like your superpower is, like that's a business that's worth building, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_01:

I agree. Yeah. And like I just sat down for business planning yesterday with my broker. And, you know, we're always looking at the last year, the last couple of years. And like she was just like, no matter what, like your production was, right? Because you showed up and you continue to show up. And like I sold less houses this year than I did in my rookie year. And I'm still like so proud of what I did. You should be. Like, yeah, like I didn't do all my normal business building stuff. I didn't do, I probably only did like half of my real estate review. Like, if I look at what I didn't do, I sure didn't do a lot compared to what I did in other years. But also, like, I was going through probate and I was doing whatever. And so, like, I'm proud of what I've done. And like this business is great in the sense that like I didn't need to show up in the same way in my like big grief days. Like, I didn't need to go. I didn't need to come in because like I needed to be a potato and like like there's enough room for the mental health days and all of that stuff. Like, I'm so grateful I'm in real estate. Because if I had to show up to like a wedding tasting for somebody and be happy, I'd be like, screw this, and that's like there's such beautiful flexibility, and like I know that we all giggle about that because there's so many times that real estate is not flexible. But when you need it to be, it's flexible. Just be like, I'm referring everybody this year. I'm like, it is what it is, and that's beautiful to be able to have that.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, Allie, this was such an honest conversation, and I absolutely loved having you on the podcast. So thank you for sharing your story. I hope that this has been like inspirational to people because you're building a business your way and like ultimately that's what it's all about. Thank you for having me.